In the Begininng

Here we are at the start of a major new frontier in parenting. It feels very much the same to me as it did on the day Mike and I decided to "go for it" and try to get pregnant with our first child, David. I was overjoyed with happiness that Mike and I were both on the same page and ready to run out and celebrate. Mike in his very practical and controlled manner was glad to get started, but also very aware of the long road of trying to get pregnant + 9 months of pregnancy + delivery. In the same way I am walking around on cloud 9, overcome with love for my husband, and obsessing a little too much about adoption (I'm a thinker and a planner what can I say) and Mike is very practically reminding me that this is going to be a long process, longer and much more complicated than getting pregnant ever has been for us.

This part of our journey began about a year ago when I realized I had been telling a lot of people in conversation that we were done having kids with our two boys, but that I have always dreamed of a daughter, "maybe we will adopt someday" I would say. At some point it hit me that I needed to figure out if this was something I was just going to say to people, or was it something that I genuinely wanted to do. I spent the next five months privately praying about whether or not adoption was the right thing for me and our family. The following February at a Valentines Day dinner the topic of adoption came up again amongst our friends. It was that night, and that conversation that made me realize this was something I did really want to do. But I still didn't feel a sense of urgency to make a decision, or bring it to my husband for serious consideration. Two months later a mother of a friend of mine was discussing the topic of adoption with me and she said (to paraphrase) "I've always wanted to adopt but we never did and now I am 50 and it is past the point where it makes sense for my life". That conversation, while short, hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that I wanted to adopt, and I wanted to have our adopted child be right in line of the same age as our other two children. I knew it was time to speak to Mike, and let him know what I had been privately dreaming, praying and thinking about for months.